1. We contradict ourselves all the time
On the same day we decide to celebrate community, we also stage a protest against runaway population growth. So do we like people or not? Truth is, we do feel both. Growing up at such an insane speed and in such a diverse pool (or mess) of cultures has meant that we are already surrounded by ever more different people, sometimes even while we are figuring out ourselves, our dreams, our hairstyles, our jobs, and so. Angst be real.
Naturally, this also explains why we use void decks for both funerals and weddings, complain about being fat over dessert with our friends, and pretend to not be on Tinder and check our accounts all the time. It means nothing, of course. It’s a non-thing. It’s less than a non-thing. So how many matches do you have?
2. We achieve the impossible
a. Eh I tell you ah this one is really one kind of #lastwarning. You got see the Lonely Planet say what not? They say we are the coolest place to visit in 2015 leh! Do you know how small we are? Do we know how many giraffes, crocodiles, mountains and oceans we don’t have?! This is super awesome!! /dances
b. Ok fine, if you don’t give a hoot about what others say, how about this…We can sell the same car – The Same Car ah, mind you – at like one gazabibullion times the price it is elsewhere, and people buy it. Don’t believe anything anyone else tells you: we have the best sales people in the world. Period.
c. We can ban chewing gum. Betcha can’t do dat shyt. And put it on having smooth train service. And have people follow it. Mind. Is. Blown.
3. We are cheesy beyond belief
Forget the Merlion. This is our true blue Singaporean mascot: The Ah Lian. Whoever said we had no national identity has obviously never seen this, this, or (cringe) this. At every turn, we always have some anecdote, stereotype, or eyeroll-worthy public campaign. The thing is we will probably never be cool. It can really seem like we were just born to be cheesy and corny and not get all the jokes or references all the time.
But do we really need to do all that? I would guess not really, not entirely, not all the time. I’m kinda looking forward to the next pseudo action-movie anti- terrorist public announcement video playing at the train stations (am I the only one who notices it’s always the Chinese dude who’s the bad guy? We are so politically correct it’s cute) just to kill – some time. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
So what are your 3 reasons 2 love 1 red dot?
Now, let’s celebrate 50 years of Singapore in 2015!